Getting new windows tomorrow. Starting from 8AM!!! WTF!!!!! Is that really shocking? LOL!!! Steve was shocked like he saw something unbelievable. LOL!!!! I'm really worry about my piece..... SO MANY NOTES!!!! Time is getting less and less. I have to the first half as soon as possible. Yes, I'm still in the first half!!!!! The second half would be easier. LOL! Cheating myself. Weather alart is shining. Frost advisory again. COLD!!!!!!! My neighbor came downstairs and talked to me........ creepy.... lol Suddenly feel that my life is pretty amazing. I've never tried hard on studying at all. I've never tried my best to do anything at all. I've gotten some kind of good result, at least not that bad. I'm really thankful to what I have. However, I always believe the luck would go away someday. No one was or is ever that lucky for the whole life. Working hard should be the way for everybody. Well, I knew it for like 26 years, but I've never tried. In the way that I'm living, it's no way for me to keep myself alive later if I don't get anything to do or get any commission or prize. My profolio needs some prizes and commission stuff. I don't wanna be Noel Zahler, putting grants and something like that in the bio. I don't wanna put tons of unrelated stuff there too. I want something more than I have in my bio. I will write more music for competitions. I thought about not writing the style that I'm writing, to see if people really want those particular kinds of style. Thanks Alyson's advice that brightened me to keep my own stuff because that's me and no matter what people think, that's my music. As I told Josh, be yourself and write what you think. My own style keeps changing and the aesthetic also keeps changing. So do all other people in this world. There might be fixation on something, but expressions and emotions are the subjects to change. As I read Rich Randall's bio on CMU website, he is not that strong on Schenkerian Analysis, but he is teaching that as a graduate class. People should have multiple abilities to face the change of the world and keep themself up on top of most of the things. Being flexable to cope with the circumstances is the best way to survive in this world now. Dr. Gao got the Noble prize. It was one of the happiest things for him I think. However, his sickness makes everything becomes nothing for him. He doesn't remember almost everything he did. What a pity. Life is fragile. Memory too. Right now, Dr. Gao and his wife maybe having the best time. Later on, he may not even recognize his wife. Someone would think being naive as a child would be the happiest in the world. It's somehow true, without sickness, I think. However, besides that naiveness, the cruel world is still swallowing you everyday. Are you still that naive? Pretend to be naive is one of the most difficult things to do. Putting a mask in front of everyone. That might help getting connection because everybody would like to hang out with a funny person instead of someone very serious all the time or just boring all the time. Human are almost all boring and serious. Clowns are always attractive. But who would like to be the clown? In addtion, some clowns are having a said face on them. Being a clown is not that fun. They don't want people see them sad. They would hide all the emotions. The emptiness inside would just show up whenever he or she is being alone. From the deep heart, they may not be that happy. However, being naive sometimes would help you get through some negative circumstances. In another word, having a poker face would also help you get through a lot of negative circumstances, but, without making a huge drama why don't we express ourself sometimes? Have a good night. | 
